Necessity of a Testimony

Hola All!

It was a great week! Teaching is coming along. I learned of the necessity of testimony, and of testimony invoking questions. How much cooler does it get than when you ask a question and the investigator's heart is not just opened, but magnified? The Spirit isn't just invited into the room, any testimony can do that; but into their heart, and only one testimony has that potential.

This week was pretty eventful. On Tuesday night I attended a devotional about the Sabbath Day. We learned about the Sabbath Day and the Sacrament. I was given the invaluable opportunity to reflect on my conversion to the Sacrament. The Apostles promised that as we learn to honor the sabbath THE WHOLE WORLD will have their faith increased. How cool is that?! I thinking about the Sabbath, I was reminded of two times that God's honoring of the Sabbath could be followed. The first is obviously the creation, where God created the world and then rested from worldly labors. The next thought was that the Millennium is a type of the Sabbath. What will we be doing in the Millennium? We will be trying to unify our eternal families and bring it all to God. We will be serving and learning, but the largest endeavor I know of is that of family. Maybe that's how we make the Sabbath a delight, we find ways to tie our family together.

A member of our District went home. That was unfortunate. However, Elder Scoubes is now my companion too. Elder Kelson, Elder Scoubes, and I are a trio: The Three Usketeers. That's not unfortunate at all. :)

We also learned about Missionary Work and focus. We are now working harder to accomplish our goals.

The Three Usketeers
Elder Scoubes, Elder Brown, Elder Kelson

Today, I went to the Mexico City temple and in the celestial room met an Elder Gould from somewhere in Toelle County. He did not know Uncle Ronnie. He was teary-eyed, and I grabbed him some tissues. After a bit of talking, I learned he had been out only a week and a day. I told him that one of my favorite parts about the Celestial room is that wherever you are, anywhere in the world, as long as you're in a Celestial Room, you're home. We talked a bit more, and I told him that yes, the Spanish is important, but what I think is most important is that he bear his testimony as often as he could. I felt the Spirit confirm my words and the Spirit of the Celestial Room became even more sweet. Please, bear your testimony as often as you can. Get creative with it. If I have learned anything from the teaching classes here, it is about testimonies and questions. Why? Agency. When you act to intentionally share parts of who you are, a testimony, it invites the Spirit into your life to change yours and increase their agency. When you ask questions of people, it invites them to use their increased agency and bear testimony themselves. In that way, we may teach diligently, and be edified together. I love the temple.

Be Thou An Example

Having completed half of my first transfer, I'm 1/34, or 2.9%, of the way done. That means I only have 33 more allotments of the time I've experienced. That's not very long when considering what I hope to gain and looking back on my growth. The Spanish, still, is coming well. Like my dad, I can analyze and understand the grammar really well. I love my teachers. I love the Latinos. Everywhere I go, they call me out. I got the chance to play the piano for a little bit, and got my jazzed up version of God Be with You Til We Meet Again stuck in Elder Scoube's head. I hear him whistling it about every hour or so, and he's a really good whistler. It could be an instrument for him.

Now for some cool experiences: 

Monday night I decided to find more ways to serve and then serve. Tuesday morning I got a letter from each member of my family about how I had served them or how they had seen me serve others. It gave me some ideas to serve here and it also helped me have the motivation to.

Wednesday, yesterday, my afternoon teacher said we (the class) didn't teach according to her needs. She said we taught what we wanted to teach her, and not what she needed to hear. That was hard, because I felt like I was trying to bend our teaching to fit her needs. We knew she had needs she hadn't told us, but we had no idea of how to figure them out except through more teaching. The whole class got really offended. I got offended too, which surprised me, because I don't identify with getting offended. My companion got really upset because he shared a concern and another elder snapped at him for making excuses. I was confused and trying to think through it, but didn't know quite how I should go about changing. Then I remembered a talk by Elder Holland to the missionaries. He said that when teaching, we should change things at least every 2 minutes. I thought about that, and I realized it kind of resembled my life. I try to change things frequently because if I'm already changing, it is much easier for me to change according to the Spirit's direction.

What else? Do you have any questions?

Q: Have you gotten over being offended? How? 
Yeah. I was over it quickly. I guess I should have specified that. :)

Q: Did you get the package we sent or just the letters? 
I got the package. The oreos were great. :)

Q: Anything else about the last week you want to share with the family and friends? 
 I'm writing a letter for the Collings, GMA GPA and Sister Morris.

 Q: What do you do on Pdays? 
Serving my companion:  I'm going to try to push him. The day is emotionally and physically demanding on him, while it isn't on me. If I use this to help him push himself a little more than is comfortable, his growth will be exciting. I gave him oreos. I have been doing the stuff around the dormitory. Folding many of his clothes, tried (rather unsuccessfully) to teach him how to sew a button on. He gets distracted easily. I try to ask him what I could do for him every day. We set goals, and I ask him how I can help, but every time I offer it he doesn't want to follow through. I'm not sure he's quite figured out how to match up his drive with his enthusiasm.

Serving my district: I help them when I can with the language. I've taken some time to help them understand the words they're trying to memorize. They get too impatient when they try to learn, and they get too patient when they don't know they should learn. They skip steps in learning when they have to learn and they wait to learn until they think they have to, which is about two or three days after the due date. (Sound familiar Mrs. Gourley?) When they ask my help I give them a thorough explanation of the concepts and the principles. It helps them learn, but much like all of us, they don't quite connect the dots. They just think of it as "Elder Brown" magic. :) I try to write notes of compliment and give them to people. It's weird here because the district is such a small bubble. I don't like working in small social bubbles. I feel confined in my abilities. Do you have any ideas on what I could do to serve people better?

Q: How does one abstract language? I've never heard of that before…
 When you think, you can frequently hear words bouncing around in your head. However, just before the words comes a concept. What people do is they try to add Spanish vocabulary to their English "dictionary". Then when they want to think or say something, they have the idea, then the english word, then they have to ask themselves, so I want to use the appendix(Spanish Language)? or just go with what I have(English)?  Then they have to find the word in the appendix, and that, at least in the beginning, is never very organized. They then try to pull together a cohesive thought and express it. They need to start a new dictionary. That way there's no translation. If they can consciously separate the languages then it will come much faster. When I read the Book of Mormon, I would watch the events of which I was reading play out as I read the Spanish words. too often I hear people translate it to english and then understand it. As an example, When I talk to people in Spanish, I can remember fairly well the events of the conversation, but when I switch to English, I can't remember what happened, because everything was experienced with a Spanish mindset. Does that make sense?

Q: Can you write about one of your spiritual experiences from the past week?
It's kind of hard to remember much of anything that happened. It's all just a blur to me. I will focus on marking something every day to remember to tell you about.

Here's one: In 3 Nephi 13:33-34, it says, "Mas buscad primeramente el reino de Dios y su Justicia; y todas estas cosas os seran añadidas. Así que, no os afanéis por el dia de mañana, porque el dia de mañana traerá afan sus propias cosas. Basta el dia para su propio mal."

I don't currently have the scriptures with me, so I had to give the memorized Spanish first. The translation is: But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. Take ye no thought therefore for tomorrow, for tomorrow will take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient is the day unto the evil thereof.

That might not be exact, but I think it's pretty close. Anyway, I think sometimes I worry so much about living for the future that I forget to see the present. That is one  reason all of this time has gone by so quickly. Do I have the faith to let go of the future? Do I have the hope that my future is being cared for by God as I take care of the present? It is helping me to let go a little bit of the mechanics of it all and live more in the present. I know that at the end it says sufficient is the day unto the evil thereof, but in my mind, I hear Christ telling me, "there are plenty of things for you to worry about in the present. Let me take care of the past and the future." Faith acts because the past is taken care of. Hope lets go of self because the future is ensured. Charity is finally allowed to step forward and change the world.

Q: Did you watch General Conference in Spanish or English?
 I watched about 6 talks in Spanish. It was very difficult.

Q: We have heard that there are a lot of fireworks that go off every night. Can you tell us about those?
Yes. The Catholic church right next to our campus loves fireworks. They make loud cannon sounds, and so when we asked our teacher what the sound was, she made the Hunger Games sign. :) I think it would be awesome to be some of the missionaries orienting the newly-arrived ones, and then when the fireworks went off, we all dropped to the ground and yelled, "Get down!! Get Down! Get by a wall!" Probably fortunately for their sake, our district will never be welcoming new districts, as a different zone is in charge of orientation.

Write Elder Brown

If you would like to send a letter to Elder Brown while he is at the CCM (MTC), there is an internet service in Mexico that will print and deliver your letters.  Click here and follow the instructions. He will receive your letters the next day during the week. The CCM post office is not open on weekends. You will need a paypal account to use this service.

See more cartoons by Scott T. Petersen
Golden Street Animation

Please address letters to Elder Brock Brown.

Let's flood him with letters this week!

Week 2 - Legendary District at the MTC (CCM)

Can you believe it?! two weeks down already. What more? I'm about 1.9% done with my mission. That doesn't sound liike much, but in reality. That's a lot. As of now, I only get fifty-one more allotments of the time I've spent here on a mission, and only 1.5 more allotments of that time to prepare to be a missionary. Time is of the essence, but it needn't be rushed. As of Monday this week, I realized how important the difference is.

I still haven't been homesick. I've loved every second out here. However, last week I was only a shell of myself. When I boarded the plane and left Utah, I left my family, my job, my ward, my free time, all of that, behind. I was totally fine with that. My free time was never mine anyway. I also brought many things. I brought everything on the packing list: toothbrush, money, church clothes, church clothes, Scriptures, more church clothes, and toiletries. There was one thing however, that was not on the packing list. I forgot to bring myself. I was always absorbed in my flashcards, or focused on learning Spanish. It had become my definition. I was so focused on the mechanics of a missionary I forgot what it pointed towards.

A look at the city

Monday I cracked one of my first puns, possibly since I left home. I really came out of the shell. I was loving every minute here, but I wasn't enjoying it. I remember my farewell talk when I said I needed to be busy but never rushed. I was busy and always rushed. The interesting thing is that I'm picking up Spahish just as quickly, if not more, now that I'm slowing down a bit.

I attended a devotional Tuesday night and the speaker spoke in Spanish. I could partially understand him, and there was also a translator there. I could understand the english just fine. ;) It was a very good devotional. It was focused on making commitments, because they needed to act in doctrine. The speaker asked a couple of questions, and I obviously answered. However, when I answered, I answered in both English and Spanish, translating for myself instead of the translator. Bragging points for me there.

I know almost everyone learning Spanish here would trade Spanish ability with me, and I know this will sound really terrible, but it's been hard being able to hold a normal conversation with latinos when three of the ten in my district still don't even know how to say the name of their mission. I want to be able to learn at my fullest capacity, but that means I have to do it all by myself rather than working with someone else. I wouldn't trade my companion for anyone in the world, but it's still hard for me to spend 2 hours helping him memorize Spanish and scripture in which I am already fluent. All that aside, I love being his companion and he's doing really well with his Spanish.

Elder Brown and Elder Kelson

My companion is District leader now, as our old district leader was "promoted" to zone leader. Elder Kelson is concerned about being the zone leader now, but he's awesome and I wish he wouldn't worry about it. He works hard but he has a charm that pulls our district together. He makes sure to notice people who are struggling and can help them.

Our district has a couple of MTC legendaries. Elder Slade, Elder Scoubes' companion, has a girlfriend whom will be arriving next Wednesday night. We might actually get another district then too. :) I was the only one to translate for myself in the MTC devotional, so I hit the books for that. Someone else told me I'm legend in another zone for my Spanish and for my Gospel knowledge. Since the Latinos go in and out every other week, when the first latinos I met left, they all wanted a pitcure with me.

And we think the Diverging Diamond Intersection in Lehi is confusing...

Mexico City Temple

First Week - Mexico City MTC (CCM)

1. We have hot water. :PPPPPPP
2. There were thirteen Elders going to Tijuana that arrived the exact same day as me. All are from the US.
3. I believe there were 67 missionaries on my flight.
4. In my departure 360, I want to put in there somewhere my first name is elder now. It's kind of weird though. It's like the church has run out of first names. All the male missionaries have the same first name!
5. I met someone by the name of Elder Elder. It was pretty great.
6. Dad, I'm punning in Spanish. The Latino missionaries got it and thought it was really funny. Spanish isn't quite Korean though. :)

In one of the first meetings, the counselor to the MTC president said that language is not a barrier. It's a tool if you have it, but if you don't, it's not a barrier. Charity does its own work. I thought you might like to hear that. They also told me that my family will never be more blessed than when I'm on my mission.

Elder Brown and Elder Kelson
Mexico City MTC - Companions

Now for the relatively cohesive thought process. Elder Kelson is my companion. He was in Chance's ward. All the Elders in my district are going to serve in Tijuana Mexico. Trevor is in my District too. Tell Chance Elder Kelson and I are companions.

Elder Kelson is amazing. He has a way with people. He connects to them well. He gave me a blessing and it was an amazing blessing. I love my companion. I wish I could explain everything that he helps me with, but it's very difficult to say. He is very different from me, but when we work together, everything works very, very well. Him and I are polar opposites, but somehow we manage to complement each other. He is still homesick, and I feel bad for him. He is having a really hard time with the homesickness, the language, and the scriptures. I feel particularly bad for him because I haven't felt homesick at all, the language is coming easily, and I know the scriptures inside and out. In the time it takes anyone else to memorize Moroni 10:5, I memorize Moroni 10:5 and three other scriptures. The language is really coming.

Funny Story: The first morning here, Elder Kelson and I had our alarm clock set to Utah time. When we woke up at 6:30, we woke up just before breakfast. That was embarrassing. :)

We have taught somewhere between 4 and 7 lessons in Spanish, but I lost track after 2, so I don't know how many we've taught. They have been really fun though. Our lessons were ok, becuase I could speak Spanish very well, but Elder Kelson couldn't speak much. Then I decided to let Elder Kelson teach more EVEN THOUGH his grammar was nonexistent and his vocabulary base minimal. That lesson was amazing. He was difficult to understand, but it was a powerful example to me that the language is much less a barrier than we make it out to be.

Honestly, the CCM has been anticlimactic. It's all really easy. The only two hard parts have been 1. that it isn't hard for me and it is for everyone else, and 2. that I've only been getting 5 hours of sleep. I used to lay in bed for 2 hours before I would fall asleep and then wake up 4-5 times each night. It wasn't very hard on my physical or mental health, but my emotional and spiritual well-being suffered greatly. I got some melatonin and it has been helping me get to sleep so I can get closer to 7:30 of sleep. The food is great. I love it, and I've been totally fine. No sickness at all...ONLY sleep problems.

Food - We like it!

The Spanish, I'm loving it. Loving it. The first day I sat down next to some latino missionaries and talked to them in Spanish. They love me. I love talking to them. I help them with their English and they help me with my Spanish. I can understand Spanish well. I can speak it grammatically correct when I think about it. They said that they think my Spanish is the best in the CCM. They said that I am the only one that practices whenever I can, and that they think I can be fluent before I leave.

It's been really hard hearing everyone talk about how homesick they are or how hard this is. This CCM stay has all been easier than my life at home. I studied more at home than I do here, simply because of time. Everything about home was more demanding of me than the CCM is. They talk about how much more it is for them while I think about how much of a break it is from my pre-mission life. They talk about how the first CCM day was the longest week of their life, and I remember how fun and fast it seemed. For that reason and the fact that I don't keep track of days anyway, I don't know how long I've been here.

Dad, I want your help. I haven't had many spiritual experiences here. Other people receive a lot of revelation frequently. They say that if I have a pen clicked and ready to write then I will receive revelation. It simply doesn't come for me. Maybe it's because my well-being is low and when I am fully rested in a couple of days, I will feel the Spirit, but the CCM is less spiritual than home was. I pray for inspiration and try to think about what I can do to improve and I get nothing. Do you and Mom have any suggestions?

With much love,
Elder Brown

Departure 360

A day or so before Brock left on his mission, he and I (his mom) decide it would be fun to do a Departure 360 post. We asked every member of the family to write their feelings about him leaving on a mission. Read on and enjoy our family and the feelings we experienced September 16, 2015! First up is Elder Brown...

I hug my family goodbye. I look at their faces and realize I won't see them for two years. Surprisingly, that doesn't bother me too much. I look into my Mom's red-rimmed eyes and see the pride and joy therein. She raised me for eighteen and a half years with this end in mind: temple covenants promising my salvation, my obedience insuring it, and then my love sharing it. I fear the awkwardness of my family waving goodbye as I wait in line for security. I am grateful that they leave as I get in line. I take one last look, and upon seeing my Mom looking back, stick my tongue out and smile. :)

I start a conversation with the person in front of me, and upon realizing she's cute, it gets awkward. I'm a Missionary, set apart for the salvation of the people of Tijuana, reserved, not to flirt, but to share my testimony and love with others. After losing a tube of toothpaste and glasses solution to the volume limit on carry-ons, I walk out of security and on toward my marvelous adventure.

Upon finding an elder I recognize, I talk to him for a little, and we make our way to the airport gate. I break off from him and talk to the other Elders. It is a time of general excitement, nervousness, and homesickness. However, I don't feel much of any of that. I feel excitement, yes, but not in any extreme way. It is reality. I accept it, I do it, to the best of my ability, and I love it. That is my feeling.

Seeing all of these Elders and hearing a conversation about how many are on our one flight, I remember my Mom and decide to take a picture of all of us.

Missionaries leaving SLC airport Wednesday, Sep 16, 2015
Bound for Mexico City MTC

On the flight, the announcing people explain everything twice, once in English, and again in Spanish. I try to decipher their words and have a hard time. "Oh dear," I think. I talk a little to the flight attendant, and really like him. He makes fun of me, and asks me why all the other Elders are so solemn. I say it's because we're all about to wet our pants with fear. He makes fun of me again and I take a jab at him. We laugh and he continues with his job.

The plane lands and we jump in line for customs. The line is three hours long. I soak in all the Spanish I can as I wait. Upon exiting, I find the Elders assigned to help us to the CCM (MTC) and talk to them. They speak enough Spanglish to get their point across in a manner which I can follow. I sit down and think of the day's irony.

We sat in a car waiting to stand in a line at security so we could sit at the gate waiting to stand in another line for the plane, where we sat for a long time, wating to stand. Upon landing, we stood for three hours waiting to sit down so we could wait for the buses to leave. I would stand on the bus waiting to sit and be disoriented at the CCM "orientation" course (seriously, I didn't even know which way was north for a while, Dad).

Missionaries in my MTC District
Mexico City MTC - September 2015

After the "disorientation," we go to eat dinner. It rains as my district walks through the most beautiful campus I've ever seen (it's like BYU and Thanksgiving Point in one). I sit down and eat something tasty (all the food here is tasty), and then I look around. I take in the beauty and all the new things.

Elder Scoubes says, "What's up, Elder Brown?"

"I'm home," I say, and the Holy Ghost welcomes me.
—Elder Brown

Family Photo - September 2015

I am excited for Brock to go on his mission. I think he is going to be a great missionary. Good luck Brock! Have a wonderful time and have lots of fun! Write home often so we can hear about all the good you are doing! Love you lots!
—T.M. (age 11)

 Today we went to the airport in Salt Lake City to drop off my older brother named Brock. He is going to serve a mission. He flew to the Mexico City MTC. I am sad because Brock is going to be gone for two years.

One reason I am sad is because he is really good at math and he can help me with my math homework. I like to play hide and go seek with Brock. He is special because he plays with me and helps me a lot.

He put me in charge of his giant stuffed animal panda, for two years, to help me remember him. I am proud of him for serving a mission because he will help lots of people. He will teach them about the gospel and about the Savior.
—B.J. (age 9)

Monday night, it hit me- My role model was leaving and there’d be no one to fill the gap he left. I cried Monday and Tuesday nights, and on Tuesday realized that if my life was The Lord of the Rings, Brock would be Gandalf. On Wednesday, with those thoughts in mind, I went to the airport, determined not to cry. And I didn’t. I knew at the airport that Brock was doing the right thing, and that we would be blessed. I remembered all those years ago when I was 8, and first learning what a mission was. The missionaries came to teach my primary, and from that moment, I knew i wanted to go on a mission. If I wanted to, how could I not allow Brock? I was fine letting him go, and still haven’t cried yet. I know that this is a good thing (because I finally got a phone) and I know that a gap has not been made- Brock can still be my role model even though he is hundreds of miles away right now. He’ll still send home letters, and I can learn from them. So… Yeah. I guess that’s all I have to say.
—B.M. (age 15)

Wow! What an exciting time in our family life. This past Wednesday we took Elder Brock Brown to the airport and sent him to Mexcio for a two-year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have been mentally preparing (really preparing) for this day for almost a year. As last Wednesday drew closer and closer, I thought we would all be crying and it would be very difficult to watch Brock walk away for such a long time. However, on Wednesday, I tried to keep a light-hearted attitude as did the rest of the family. Not many tears were shed and honestly, it was okay. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I was filled with peace.

Throughout the rest of the week I received many texts and fb messages asking how I was holding up or if I was doing okay. One text that came through was different. A friend of ours from Montana texted me and asked me if I was on cloud 9 after sending my missionary off. That was such a refreshing question and the answer was indeed a yes. A mission is something that I have always taught my children they should do but wanted the choice to be theirs. They need to gain their own testimony of the Church and be willing to sacrifice and experience their own things. As a mother, I’m excited and pleased that Brock has chosen to serve a mission and I know that he is in the Lord’s hands and will be taken care of.

In 1 Nephi 3, Nephi and his brothers are sent on a mission to retrieve the brass plates from King Laban. Things don’t go smoothly, at first. Nephi and his brothers have trials and challenges and things they need to work out on their own. Nephi’s attitude about this mission as stated in 1 Nephi 3:7 is “I will go and do the things that the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord givieth no commandment unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the things which he commandeth them.” They are also blessed with many miracles as the Lord helps them accomplish the task he has asked them to fulfill. During the next two years, Brock’s mission will be much like this mission of Nephi and his brothers. There will be times that things won’t go smoothly, there will likely be some disagreements within the companionship, there will be language barriers and struggles and challenges that my son will go through. However, if he stays humble and close to the Lord, then like Nephi, Elder Brown will be able to find solutions to his trials, answers to prayers and miracles will happen right before his very eyes.

The next two years are going to be amazing! So excited to have this journey begin! Love you lots Elder Brown! I sure hope the people of the Mexico Tijuana Mission are ready for you.
—Mom

When Brock left on his mission id didn't affect me much because he was really busy and out of the house a lot. Also, I spent the summer in Montana away from my family so I've been used to not being around him.
—T.R. (age 17)

I'll probably miss you and will definately notice you are gone!
—Dad

The Countdown...

Oh, how the time flies. I like to pretend to myself that I'm not excited, but I am. I try not to pretend I'm scared, but I'm not. I tried so hard not to count down, I really did. Once September rolled around though, I couldn't help but keep track of them. It's like Christmas, but it's eighteen years in the making, and it only happens once. And unlike the gifts we receive then, I actually work toward these ones. I will never earn any of the gifts given (Mosiah 2:21), but I will work towards them, and I will hopefully be willing to receive them.

Life has been pushing me toward the mission. I quit my job and temple work. The missionaries stopped calling me for splits, those scums. Plans that I make keep falling through, unless they're aimed towards my mission.

I've learned, once again, from my life, that I need to focus on my ultimate goals and what I'm doing to accomplish them. The following quote has developed increasing importance to me:

"I am who I am because I did what I did to get here, whether I did it on purpose or not. I will be who I will be tomorrow because of what I do today to become him. If I am intentionally, consistently acting today to become who I want to be tomorrow, then am I not him today? Thus begs the question: Am I defined by my past, or my future?"

(My hopeful mission companion, Trevor Scoubes, and I)

Yes, our past is divinely designed to assist us, but not define us. As Elder Holland said, "The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointing towards the future".

I can't believe it! I'm going on a mission!! I really only have 2 more days! Time goes so quickly. It is so precious; don't waste it, please.